Crazy Footballers Names – A Commentators Mare

For the strictly immature football fan and something to beat your mates at, next time you’re down the pub and it starts, you know, the old what’s the maddest name of any footballer you’ve ever come across.

Wellington Paulista – Forward – West Ham, often looked as though his feet were stuck in deep mud.

He joined on loan back in January 2013 from Cruzeiro, Brazil. Initially joined on a 6-month trial with the view to a permanent deal.  Unfortunately, he left without making a single first team appearance, he did make it off from the bench on two occasions, so that’s something.

Danger Fourpence – Defence/Midfield, really only ever endangered himself on the pitch.

Still plays, in his native Zimbabwe, where he’s a dangerous man-marker, currently at Kiglon, where he sometimes ventures in to a midfield area.

Wolfgang Wolf – Defence, too sheepish around the opponent’s box but would pounce if anyone got too close to his goal.

Now in the coaching game and worked within the confounds of FC Wolfsburg, true! Wolfgang Wolf of Wolfsburg.

Fabian Assman – Goalkeeper, never sat out a game or would rest his load, no way man.

Currently, still playing in his homeland of Argentina, for Velez Sarsfield. He managed to get a loan spell in Spain with Las Palmas before returning to Independiente in July 2010. He was pursued by Chelsea in the 2009 season, though they never followed through…

Otto Addo – never really added up to anything too special, but did manage to get out on the pitch with his country of origin, Ghana.

He’s succeeding within the realms of coaching and currently works for FC Nordsjaelland in the Danish super league.

Creedance Clearwater Cuoto – Striker, nicknamed Paulista, for obvious reasons.

His parents named him, they usually do, and were fantastic fans of the American rock band Creedance Clearwater Revival. They never really caught on, in his homeland of Brazil, and still haven’t, hence his nickname. Stills plays too, for Taubate, always on the team sheet usually named at the top of the bill…

Have-a-Look Dube, calling out “Have A Look”, whilst running down the wing, would often catch Have-a-Look Dube’s attention; it’s his name.

He had a great look in when playing in his native country, Zimbabwe. Still playing for the same team – Njube Sundowns.

Anil Koc – Midfield, providing penetration but didn’t last the pace.

Started his career with the Turkish side of Antalyaspor, he had a loan spell at Charlton in the 2013 – 14 seasons’ but failed to make a single appearance.

Wayne Wanklyn – winger for Reading, never really got himself off.

Started life in Hull and hit himself along the way before making a stain for himself at Reading, though never really achieved massive things.

Andre Muff – forward, made the Swiss team, last played for FC Concordia Basel.

Fantastically named and often found himself partnering Bernt Haas, when on international duty. Haas and Muff enjoyed playing the forward line on many international call-ups.

Mario Turdo, not a very successful Argentine striker, never really sank it. Still pushing though, and has been since 1997, though he’s currently without a club.

Managed a few spells in Europe, before skidding out and back to Argentina in 2005. He played out some seasons with Celta Vigo, Las Palmas and CD Leganes.

We know we’ve missed a few, but can you top any of the above names?  We bet you can’t. Talking of bets, we teamed up with the Footy Accumulator guys to put this piece together. For football odds and bet tipping insights follow the link through to their website. You’ll also find previews of the latest games across a multitude of leagues too.

If you know of any other names worthy of the above list, send them across. We may add to them.

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